People Who Are Detrimental To Good Order and Discipline

I’ve started a campaign to end the tyranny of the Butt Burka! I went straight to the guy who makes the rules, the KIV commander, and asked him to please lift the ban on spandex and tights, as well as the rules forbidding skirts shorter than knee-length, and sitting in said skirts without crossing your legs, and also sheer blouses. Apparently, if these rules weren’t in place, all us lady-folk would be traipsing down the streets of Kabul in thongs and nipple caps, or we might randomly decide to rip our clothes off while eating lunch in the dining facility. Without rules, there would be female nudity everywhere!

Or, you know, not, because come on, this is stupid. Are women who wear sheer blouses and flash their hoochies really a problem? This is Afghanistan, for Christ’s sake. Nobody’s wearing that shit. But the fear of it is enough to codify rules against it, just in case. Where’s the banana-hammock rule, huh? What if a dude rips off his pants in front of me? If there isn’t a rule to prevent him from doing it, then what’s to keep him from doing it???

Surprisingly, the KIV commander actually responded to my request instead of blowing me off. He implied they were actually going to lift the ban, because the clothing rules were made before his tenure and were outdated. So that’s progress, but I’m keep the pressure on. Maybe his change of heart has something to do with the fact surveys show women aren’t particularly happy on the KIV, for some reason, and he’s been charged to do something about it.

My roommate’s also decided to take a stand against sexism in her own realm. She’s a conservative Catholic, but also a previous sexual assault response coordinator, which must be kinda tough. She’s cool and I have great respect for her, despite the fact we’re on opposite sides of the political spectrum. After America elected Donald Trump to be leader of the free world, I was freaking out, to put it mildly.

“After everything he’s said and done, people really though he’d be a better president than Hillary? Really?” I ranted.

“Come on, you can’t take what he says seriously,” she said.

“So when he bragged about grabbing women by their genitals, we shouldn’t take that seriously? When nearly a dozen women came forward and accused him of sexual assault, we shouldn’t take them seriously?”

Her face fell, then she changed the subject. It’s called cognitive dissonance.

She works with an Army Sergeant Major – an E-9, the highest enlisted rank possible – who’s hot shit because he used to be a Ranger and has actually killed Taliban or something. He was also one of the instructors of the first batch of females to go through Ranger School. He fought tooth-and-nail against it, he explained to a captivated audience when he first arrived, because Ranger ladies would be hurt morale, be a drag on the unit, be detrimental to good order and discipline, etc. In the end he lost, but not for lack of trying.

And now he’s in the KIV, keeping the riffraff in line. For instance – the break room was messy, so he chained the fridge shut until the room was clean. Wow, what leadership. He also watches inappropriate movies at work (stuff with lots of nudity and violence), pays an inordinate amount of attention to the pretty young ladies, and talks shit behind people’s backs. He’s clashed several times with my roommate because she’s not afraid to confront him about his bad behavior, which I guess is a first for him. Despite the fact she outranks him by a lot, he’s been consistently disrespectful toward her. When another officer told her he made comments to a group of impressionable young people along the lines of, “Be careful what you say in front of [my roommate] because she’s a killjoy,” she decided she’d had enough, and made an unofficial complaint to her supervisor.

“I was wondering when someone was going to say something about him,” her commander responded.

So…wasn’t it the Ranger ladies who were supposed to be detrimental to good order and discipline? Huh.

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