The Best Signs and Pics from My Deployment

As my deployment comes to an end, I’d like to share some awesome signs, and related pictures, that truly defined my experience in the KIV.There’s equal opportunity crapping in the KIV! Surprisingly progressive for a country where the vast majority of people don’t get to enjoy the wonders of indoor plumbing.

Remember this if you’re ever faced with the first-world problem of a sump bump backing up and flooding your basement with human feces. It’s a privilege!

And if you’re going to enjoy the indoor plumbing, don’t stand on top of the toilet while you do your business, please.

Yup, they’re sort of poop Nazis in the KIV. And if that wasn’t enough of an infringement on our Constitutional rights, there’s this:

Oh come on! Where am I suppose to finish my leftovers from lunch?

Whenever we have these kinds of killjoy rules, it’s always because some jerk ruined it for the rest of us. I have to assume that, at some point, this happened:

Super-wrong!

Dude…if you’re gonna do that, at least share with the guy behind you.

In a war zone, lot of shit goes down while shitting, apparently. Somebody commemorated her experience on the inside of a bathroom stall door:

“Operation New Dump 2012”

Operation New Dump: Never Forget.

In the next stall over – maybe the same lady-crapper – somebody had a confession to make:

“My secret: I’m a lesbian…Shh. Me, too. No secret.”

Recall that, during Operation New Dump, service members weren’t allowed to be openly gay. Good on her for finding the courage to admit her secret in the bathroom! She came out of the (wash) closet. Hehe. Hehehe.

Well, it is a widely known fact that approximately 85% of the Air Force is gay.

See? Everyone knows that. And I mean gay as in HAPPY. Look at this guy:

We, as a team, glued this puzzle together and hung it up in the office, along with a collage of other cute animal puzzles. No, I’m not kidding. We have a real affinity for cats around here…

Except when things go horribly wrong:

It’s a rollercoaster of emotions when it comes to cats. Really, just don’t lick them, and you’ll be fine. Check out this power couple of cats, outside the hair salon:

This is how I see myself when I retire.

Finally, besides the obsession with cats and crapping, one coffee shop was super into Jean Claude Van Damme for some reason:

Certificate of AUTHENTICITY. Got that? It’s not some fake Van Damme picture! Only the best for the KIV. He’s the Universal Soldier…I loved that movie. No, seriously, I did. Kinda weird the stuff you like when you’re a teenager.

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